It's been weeks since I last wrote...too many undescribable events, too many inexplicable occurences...I shed too many tears...il pleut dans mon coeur... Paris, the city of lights, the city of romance, the city of love...I've been looking forward for my Paris spree since October 2007...and as time never dawdles, 20th April 2009 was supposed to be my Paris rendez-vous, seemed like it came in a blink of the eye...yet, nobody could ever challenge destiny...who could ever have thought that I would never make it...priorities are priorites, maybe these are all blessings in disguise...for weeks I had imagined myself being there, maybe "blesse" by what would have happened because it was all anticipated...back then, I just could not imagine being a solitary soul (though in reality I would actually be with a longtime buddy) watching performance and masquerade, commotion and palaver...worse still would be the time we would be in Brussels, Amsterdam and London...the auhentic 100% solitary me...yet, by 20th April, I was more than willing to face all that than not being able to go at all...after all, my ever dearest would always be within my enclosure...but...sob sob sob...things may happen for a reason, for the best reason and I may not realise it now...
Since 20th April, all I ever think of other than the matters at hands, is the ITINERARY...I see myself having lunch at Eiffel, cruising at River Seine and enjoying the infamous Louvre...Dior, Louis Vuitton, Aigner...and most importantly, in between, few precious stolen moments with my "petit ami"...can't stop think about the 8 1/2 hours bus journey to Amsterdam...I could imagine myself sitting alone while looking out the window appreciating the scenery while listening to the heart-wrenching songs from my Ipod...I'm sure there'll be stops and toilet breaks where I got to enjoy the cold and fresh air and of course being able to steal a glance at that familiar face, all smiling at me...how I miss all that just like the journey from Swiss to Italy...those were beautiful moments...never failed to receive sms from the backseat chum...but now, I'm all alone in my room and my days are spent waiting and waiting for news, for calls, for sms...I know my dear, you are enjoying every single second...how fortunate and propitious she is..on the other hand, I'm anxious and nervy...I wonder if you ever think of me every step of the way you are without me...I wonder if you ever know how I am feeling...longing for time when we can be together again vacationing, and yet you get to go alone without me...I'm so heart-rended...
Mon poulet...I will forever reminisce the three precious and cherished weeks and I am still waiting for those days to come again, although they may not be the same coz things changed...until that time shows its face, I am pretty hurt, je suis blesse......
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